OUCH, THIS IS GONNA HURT!!!

OUCH, THIS IS GONNA HURT!!! Part 1

I try to be a good person. I try to treat others as I would be treated. Yet somehow today, I had the WORST THING HUMANLY POSSIBLE DONE TO ME!!!

Let me start by saying, I was minding my own business. I was in the middle of sitting on hold at work when this most terrible act occured. Now I have this terrible dilemna on my hands...WHAT DO I DO WITH THE INFORMATION THAT I HAVE FOUND? After many hours of careful thought, I have come to the only possible solution to what is a terrible situation This is a matter that will require your help. I need you to go to Home Depot and buy 4 Butterfly Screws, a drill and a hammer. What am I talking about you ask? listen very carefully because I will probably deny this at a later date, but this is for my own best interest. Between now and March 2011, I need you to let the screws get good and rusted. One night next March, after I go to sleep, I need you to arrange it with my wife (please do not scare her, she will hurt you) to come into my house and hit me in the head with the hammer. I know this sounds drastic, but it is for my own good. After you hit me in the head (please do not kill me, I really like being alive), I need you to plug the drill in and take the butterfly screws and drill them into my eyeballs at 45 degree angles. I want you to do this very slowly. After the screws are completely through my eyeballs, I want you to pull as hard as you can until my eyeballs are completely out of me head. YES, THIS IS GOING TO BE VERY PAINFUL! YES, THIS WILL LEAVE A LASTING EFFECT! YES, THIS IS FOR MY OWN GOOD! I challenge you to do the same thing. As painful as this expierence is, IT IS NOWHERE NEAR AS BAD AS WHAT OCCURED ON THE AFTERNOON OF JULY 12, 2010.

TO BE CONTINUED...